It's a difficult approach professionally and some superiors have alienated or dismissed me soonest. But it has helped me avoid superficial jobs, relationships and expectations. I have learnt to begin by identifying and showing the other party their weakness before they capitalize and exaggerate mine.
I can relate because I used to operate from a very similar place. Looking back, I think two things were driving me.
The first was that I always felt the need to point out that the other person wasn't perfect either. Almost like saying, "Before you judge me, let's acknowledge your own blind spots." At the time, it felt fair, but I now see it stemmed from an authority-and-trust wound. I struggled to receive feedback from people I didn't believe were willing to examine themselves.
The second was my strong sense of justice. If I saw something unfair, I felt compelled to speak up. Over time, I became the person everyone expected to confront the boss while they stayed in the background. People would quietly agree with me, but I was the one taking all the risks.
Ironically, those two patterns made me look like I was always fighting authority, especially in corporate environments. I became alienated and often missed out on the trust, relationships, and opportunities that come from being seen as someone leadership enjoys working with.
I still value justice, but now I'm learning that not every battle is mine to fight, and not every mirror needs to be held up by me.
Well written and expressed. It also resonates with me. I also dislike complaining but again it makes the other party test boundaries and take more than initial bargain. I have learnt to resist and to make people/employers uncomfortable soonest.
That’s an interesting approach to setting boundaries. Do you feel that this strategy helps you process your frustrations effectively, or are you finding that it’s genuinely working to improve your professional outcomes?
It's a difficult approach professionally and some superiors have alienated or dismissed me soonest. But it has helped me avoid superficial jobs, relationships and expectations. I have learnt to begin by identifying and showing the other party their weakness before they capitalize and exaggerate mine.
I can relate because I used to operate from a very similar place. Looking back, I think two things were driving me.
The first was that I always felt the need to point out that the other person wasn't perfect either. Almost like saying, "Before you judge me, let's acknowledge your own blind spots." At the time, it felt fair, but I now see it stemmed from an authority-and-trust wound. I struggled to receive feedback from people I didn't believe were willing to examine themselves.
The second was my strong sense of justice. If I saw something unfair, I felt compelled to speak up. Over time, I became the person everyone expected to confront the boss while they stayed in the background. People would quietly agree with me, but I was the one taking all the risks.
Ironically, those two patterns made me look like I was always fighting authority, especially in corporate environments. I became alienated and often missed out on the trust, relationships, and opportunities that come from being seen as someone leadership enjoys working with.
I still value justice, but now I'm learning that not every battle is mine to fight, and not every mirror needs to be held up by me.
Well written and expressed. It also resonates with me. I also dislike complaining but again it makes the other party test boundaries and take more than initial bargain. I have learnt to resist and to make people/employers uncomfortable soonest.
That’s an interesting approach to setting boundaries. Do you feel that this strategy helps you process your frustrations effectively, or are you finding that it’s genuinely working to improve your professional outcomes?