This is the story of one of the deepest lessons I received about time, responsibility, and surrender — a lesson I lived, not just learned.
Right on Time: A Meeting with Saturn
The Blocked Moment
A day after my birthday this year, I was working on my projects, sitting at my computer.
I was feeling blocked.
I felt like I am older and I needed to be ahead.
I started questioning whether anything is even worth it.
I decided to use a tool I had trusted before — something that had opened me to deeper clarity and focus in the past.
I thought it would help me reconnect and move through the block I was feeling.
That day, I went through many different journeys.
Wah, that was a very long trip with so many lessons.
The Complaining and the Shift
At one point, while walking on the beach, I was talking to myself — or basically to my guides — complaining.
Like, "Are you guys even helping me? Why are we here? We should be further..."
Everyone was shouting in that meeting, honestly.
I don’t even like telling this part of the story because it sounds mad.
I felt my guides and ancestors were trying to tell me things like, "You need to do this..." but it was fuzzy.
I couldn’t make out faces or words clearly, but I could feel them.
Then it was like they started turning into planets.
Their energy became bigger, not human anymore.
The Meeting with Saturn
That’s how I found myself in some kind of meeting with Saturn.
He was deeply masculine, so much authority.
You could feel the respect in the room when he started talking.
Me, I told him, "I need to redo things. I am much better equipped now than I was before. I need to be given a chance again at life because now I can handle things better."
I was very angry, by the way.
Saturn said very clearly, "You are right on time."
He said everything was going well, everything was happening right on time, and that we all needed to get back to our positions and continue the play.
At some point, I realized I wasn’t just seeing Saturn — I was Saturn.
It’s a blur, but I could feel it.
Part of me recognized it.
As Saturn, I started laughing and said, "Time is an illusion."
Then as Saturn, I said:
"Do you want to go back in time and redo something?
You can wake up tomorrow and it will be a year behind.
That will be my birthday present to you.
When do you want to go back to?"
Choosing to Stay
I thought about it.
I was going to say my 20s...
but honestly, I knew I would redo them a thousand times and still do them the same way.
Then I thought about my early 30s...
no, that’s when I got my son.
Maybe just one year...
but no, that’s when my awakening started.
This year had been a year of a lot of growth.
I had been doing a lot of shadow work.
I had been on many journeys.
I had learned so much.
Even the memories with my son that had just happened the day before — they mattered.
I realized I couldn’t even go back one day.
There was nothing I would undo.
So I said no.
After that, it was like the meeting ended.
Everyone, including me, went back to their positions, and life continued.
What Saturn Taught Me About Reality
I share this because a lot of the time, in spirituality, we think controlling reality is about ‘fixing’ it — about escaping the mistakes, speeding up success, avoiding pain.
But sometimes the deepest embodiment of spirit is not about control.
It’s about remembering that the highest part of us already chose the right path.
The mistakes, the delays, the struggles — they aren’t errors.
They’re part of the design.
We aren’t gods because we force reality to match our will.
We are co-creators because we surrender to the deeper wisdom inside us — and act from there, with trust.
That’s what Saturn taught me.
That’s what I continue to learn every day.
The Saturn Lessons I Live By
I have had to learn in my life a lot of Saturn-themed lessons.
Saturn governs time, structure, discipline, responsibility, patience, maturity, commitment, boundaries, and authority.
All the things that don't give instant rewards but build real foundations.
So when people talk about controlling reality and sijui quantum jumping... hahah.
I just smile.
Because I know you don’t skip Saturn.
You don’t bypass the work.
You don’t cheat the process.
You become someone who can hold the reality you are asking for — by becoming it first, in the slow, unglamorous way.
There’s no hack.
There’s no shortcut.
It’s not about controlling reality with your mind.
It’s about becoming so aligned, so responsible, so patient, that your reality adjusts to match the solid truth you are carrying inside you.
And that’s what Saturn has been teaching me, over and over again.