The Sunday School Wound That Blocked My Wealth
How Being Told to "Be a Good Girl" Created a Lifetime of Receiving Blocks
Today during meditation, something surfaced that made me stop and journal.
I was back in Sunday school. Maybe seven years old. Asking the questions that made the teachers shift uncomfortably. Real questions. The kind that don't have neat answers.
And instead of hearing "I don't know" or "let's explore that," I got:
"God doesn't like that"
"Be a good girl"
"Stop being difficult"
The message was clear: Your curiosity is dangerous. Your truth makes people uncomfortable. To be loved, be less.
So I learned. I adapted. I became the good girl who knew which questions not to ask.
The Pattern That Formed
What did that little girl internalize?
That curiosity is dangerous.
That truth makes people uncomfortable.
That asking real questions risks rejection.
That to be authentic is to risk love.
So I shrank. Whenever I felt "too much," I'd withdraw. Better to be alone with my truth than exiled in a crowd. I learned to speak only what others could digest. To package my knowing in palatable portions.
But here's what I didn't understand then: This wasn't just creating a voice wound. It was creating a receiving wound.
The Wealth Connection No One Talks About
When your body believes that being seen leads to rejection, you subconsciously block what visibility attracts:
Wealth
Support
Opportunity
Love
Think about it. If you had to earn love by being "good," you'll try to earn money the same way. Through effort. Performance. Perfection. You won't let it come easily because ease feels unsafe.
You'll over-deliver to justify receiving $78.
You'll unpublish the app that feels too vulnerable.
You'll control outcomes instead of allowing abundance.
Why? Because manifestation collapses under the weight of unhealed shame. You can't magnetize what you secretly believe you're not safe having.
Jung understood this. He wrote about how our shadows don't just affect our psychology - they affect our entire reality field. What we repress doesn't disappear. It controls from the unconscious.
The Deeper Truth I Found
As I sat with this pattern, something else emerged. This voice wound wasn't random. It's archetypal.
Every mystic tradition knows this: To create, Source had to first create separation. What the Kabbalists call tzimtzum - the divine contraction. The original "making oneself smaller" so something else could exist.
My Sunday school silencing? It mirrors the primordial split. The moment consciousness divided to experience itself. The first "be less so others can be."
This isn't just my wound. It's THE wound. The illusion of separation that every spiritual tradition points toward.
Where Voice Meets Wealth
The throat chakra isn't just about speaking. It's about manifestation. It's where energy becomes form, where the unmanifest becomes manifest through vibration.
When we distort our voice to stay safe, we distort our creative power. When we speak from fear of rejection, we create from that same frequency.
But when we heal the voice wound? When we speak without apology? We become portals for what wants to emerge.
The mystics knew: "In the beginning was the Word." Creation happens through sound, through declaration, through the throat.
The Reclamation
That voice they tried to tame in Sunday school? It never died. It went underground, waiting.
Waiting for me to remember:
I wasn't meant to be quiet
I was meant to speak what others are afraid to name
My questions weren't wrong - the container was too small
Now when wealth comes, I don't need to over-earn it.
Now when I create, I don't need to perfect it into safety.
Now when I speak, I don't need to cite every source to justify my knowing.
The little girl who asked uncomfortable questions? She was the wealthy one all along. She knew that truth creates reality. They just convinced her to create a smaller one.
Not anymore.
Your Voice Wound Inventory
If this resonates, ask yourself:
What did you learn about speaking truth as a child?
Where do you still make yourself smaller to stay loved?
How might your voice wound be creating wealth blocks?
What would you create if rejection wasn't possible?
Your voice isn't a disruption. It's the key that unlocks everything you thought you had to chase.
Ready to Go Deeper?
This is exactly why I created The Money Shadow Workbook. Because these voice wounds don't heal through understanding alone. They heal through witnessing them on paper, through guided excavation, through having space to let your truth breathe.
The workbook takes you through:
Childhood Money Messages - What did you learn about worth, voice, and receiving?
The Good Girl Wound - How perfectionism blocks abundance
Voice-to-Wealth Mapping - Connecting speaking blocks to receiving blocks
The Sunday School Effect - Working with religious/cultural messages about being "too much"
Somatic Practices - Moving these patterns through your body, not just your mind
Each section has guided prompts and dedicated journaling space. No more staring at blank pages wondering where to start. These prompts know exactly where to dig, and there's room to let your truth spill out.
One reader messaged me: "Page 23 made me cry. I finally saw why I've been undercharging for years. It wasn't about money. It was about that little girl who learned her questions were too much."
Sample prompt from the workbook: "When you were told to 'be good,' what part of your authentic self did you have to hide? How do you still hide that part when negotiating your worth?"
Get The Money Shadow Workbook →
This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about finally hearing what your seven-year-old self has been trying to tell you all along.
About Nyambura
Writing from the intersection of lived experience and cosmic pattern. I share what meditation reveals, what shadows teach, and how the personal always points to the primordial.
Work With Me:
📓 The Money Shadow Workbook - Guided prompts for excavating voice-to-wealth wounds
🤖 AxisGPT - AI shadow work companion
✉️ Weekly insights on shadow, wealth, and cosmic patterns
Connect: inkandshadowtales.com | Email: info@inkandshadowtales.com | Instagram: Whispers of the Moth