From Perfect Teacher to Authentic Guide: What This Eclipse Season is teaching Me About Spiritual Authority
For years, I carried one belief that poisoned everything I tried to share: "I am not enough as I am."
It disguised itself as responsibility, as perfectionism, as integrity. It told me I needed to reach some mystical pinnacle before I could guide anyone. That if I spoke without complete knowledge, I would mislead people and cause harm.
But that wasn't wisdom. That was fear dressed up as responsibility.
The Accidental Guide's Dilemma
I never set out to be a guide. I was just trying to heal myself. But as I worked through my patterns, people began asking about the tools I was using. I felt called to help, especially when I recognized their struggles as mirrors of my own.
And yet, the wound whispered: "If you only share what you truly know, it won't be enough."
So I gathered impressive knowledge that sounded profound. I recycled concepts. I quoted leaders. I spoke with authority on subjects I had only touched with my intellect.
It wasn't just me—I saw this everywhere. A culture of borrowed wisdom, people presenting information as if it were embodied truth. And when I caught myself doing it, I felt false. Inauthentic. Like I was wearing clothes that didn't belong to me.
But the alternative felt just as dangerous: "If I speak too soon, before I've mastered everything, I'll harm people. I'll be dangerous."
Not enough. Too much. Either way, the core wound had me trapped.
The Internal Prison
That wound created a prison with two impossible doors:
Door one: Stay silent, because anything less than perfection is unworthy.
Door two: Borrow authority, because your own isn't enough.
Behind both doors was the same message: "Your real process doesn't count. Your humanity disqualifies you."
So when people asked for guidance, I panicked. I gave over-complicated answers that weren't practical. I overwhelmed them with too many options. Or I withdrew completely, hoping they'd figure it out without me.
Either way, I wasn't offering my medicine. I was offering my fear.
The Teacher Who Shattered It
During this eclipse season, I stumbled on a post by Matías De Stefano. He was wrestling with the same fear: "What if I mislead people?"
He admitted he felt safer sharing past-life memories because they were "just data." But when he gave opinions about the present, guilt consumed him.
And then his inner guidance told him: "You are not here to be a neutral oracle. You are here to be a mirror and a fellow traveler."
That pierced right through my wound. I had been trying to become an untouchable dispenser of wisdom when all I needed to be was myself. Messy. Learning. Honest.
And then the medicine came: "You cannot apologize for giving what comes from you. Others will decide whether to take it or leave it. If it comes from your heart and coherence, it is enough."
Enough. That word cracked something open in me.
The Cosmic Mirror
The timing made it even clearer. This September 7th lunar eclipse lands exactly on my Pisces sun, activating my Virgo rising.
Pisces whispers: trust your flow, share your intuition. Virgo demands: not until it's perfect, not until you've mastered every detail.
That tension between trust and perfection, between enough and never enough, is written in the sky. And for the first time, I realize the astrology isn't just describing me it's mirroring the collective collapse of false authority.
We are all being asked to release the belief that only polished perfection deserves to be shared.
What Actually Works
When I start sharing from my real, lived process instead of trying to sound enlightened, something shifts.
People don't connect with my "knowledge." They connect with my humanity.
The difference becomes obvious:
Information sharing: "I heard shadow work integrates the unconscious..."
Experience sharing: "When I did shadow work, I realized I was projecting my abandonment fears onto every relationship..."
The first is a concept. The second is lived truth. Only one carries medicine.
Because the medicine is never in being perfect. The medicine is in being real.
The Eclipse Gift
This eclipse season is teaching me what my wound tried to hide: "I am not enough as I am" was the lie. "My messy, unfinished process is still medicine" is the truth.
Now, when guilt rises—"What if I mislead?"—I remind myself: My job isn't to be perfect. It's to be authentic. To act coherently with where I am, and to update as I grow.
No one needs another guru claiming to have transcended human limitations. What we need are mirrors. Fellow travelers. Guides willing to say:
"Here's what I'm discovering so far. Here's what helps me. Here's what I'm still figuring out. Walk with me if it resonates."
So here's my medicine, raw and unfinished: I am enough as I am. And so are you.
P.S. I'm deep in my own practice of turning perfectionism into process. Right now I'm working through The Money Shadow Workbook again, because the same "not enough" wound that makes me afraid to teach authentically also makes me hoard credentials and knowledge as armor.
The same fear that whispers "You need more certificates before you can guide anyone" is the fear that says "Your wisdom isn't enough unless it's polished and externally validated." Worth wounds don't just shape how we earn—they shape how we teach, create, and claim our voice.
If you recognize this pattern of using credentials and borrowed authority to feel "enough," here's the Amazon link to the workbook. If you're in Kenya, message me and I'll connect you to where you can get a copy locally.
And if you're ready to practice this shift in real time—moving from collecting knowledge to sharing process, from hiding behind perfection to serving through authenticity—come join my Shadow Work Community on WhatsApp. We're building a space where knowledge isn't hoarded as armor, but shared as medicine.
About the Author
Nyambura explores the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern transformation through writing, AI-assisted shadow work, and authentic spiritual guidance. She believes the best teachers are eternal students willing to share their real process rather than their imagined perfection.
Connect:
🌐 inkandshadowtales.com
📸 Instagram: @whispersofthemoth
✉️ info@inkandshadowtales.com